The (Blame)Game Theory

Oh my god! This was so bloody funny man. Okay here is the story so far - There is this new idiot in our team who has been hired for a 'lower' 'middle' 'management' role. Lets call the person 'lower middle managing idiot' (LMMI). Now LMMI has been throwing her weight around since she joined. Perhaps it was to assert her 'authority' or it might have just resulted from the person's brains being addled by being called a LMMI. Whatever. The following is a superb superb example of the weight throwing and the subsequent 'fuck you' by now super admired Mr Sleepy (At this point might I add that Sleepy, you are not a half hearted rebel anymore brother. You have been upgraded to three-quarter heart rebel from now on!). This conversation was forwarded to me by another colleague. Let's call her 'Mute Spectator' (MS)... Phew! Read already!!

LMMI [2:07 PM]:
Sleepy why wasnt (Bla bla bla) communicated to MS(once i discussed n informed u
of the communication gap between u two)?

Sleepy has been added to the instant message conversation.

LMMI [2:08 PM]:
Sleepy can we have your response please?

MS [2:08 PM]:
its clear now...LMMI

LMMI [2:08 PM]:
MS time is of essence.

Sleepy [2:08 PM]:
MS was not at her seat that time

Sleepy [2:08 PM]:
she had gone for lunch

LMMI [2:08 PM]:
you could have called her up

Sleepy [2:08 PM]:
then i went for lunch

LMMI [2:08 PM]:
or mailed / IMed her

LMMI [2:08 PM]:
so when she comes back she is immediately aware of it

LMMI [2:09 PM]:
we all know the urgency, dont we?

Sleepy [2:09 PM]:
what is the issue i dont understand .. its not held up our work

LMMI [2:09 PM]:
the proposal goes tmrw. the IT team cant progress unless we submit draft
ppt

Sleepy [2:09 PM]:
non of us were sitting idle rite

LMMI [2:09 PM]:
MS sud have ideally finished the template had the miscomm been not
there

LMMI [2:10 PM]:
Sleepy, you will not be rude.

Sleepy [2:10 PM]:
where am i being rude

LMMI [2:10 PM]:
by refuting and accepting your mistake

Sleepy [2:10 PM]:
wht is my msitake .. ?

LMMI [2:10 PM]:
and instead trying to argue (not sitting ideal)?

Sleepy [2:11 PM]:
its not like anyone duplicated efforts

LMMI [2:11 PM]:
Sleepy none of us is ideal

LMMI [2:11 PM]:
you dont get it still.

LMMI [2:11 PM]:
the template is far from quality output

LMMI [2:11 PM]:
so are the charts

LMMI [2:11 PM]:
if you guys dont gear up, i will have to work on them myself!

LMMI [2:11 PM]:
and i expect the best from you two!

LMMI [2:12 PM]:
i understand that you need training and hence i have given a lot of time
already

LMMI [2:12 PM]:
but, either you give me high quality output or else i will work on it
myself

LMMI [2:13 PM]:
its been 36 + 5 hours.! just for template and charts

LMMI [2:13 PM]:
you tell me should we be spending so much time on them?

LMMI [2:13 PM]:
cant we be more efficient, i ask you?

Sleepy [2:14 PM]:
of course we can .. we got feedback form ashish yesterday and we made
the new template so fast

LMMI [2:14 PM]:
going forward, i want a daily update(in mail form) from both of you
everyday, before you leave.

LMMI [2:14 PM]:
yes that effort was good!

LMMI [2:14 PM]:
but the initial hours lost. almost 30 prior to it. was not acceptable

LMMI [2:15 PM]:
i trust you both to ensure there is no communication gap betwen you two

LMMI [2:15 PM]:
if i communicate something to 1 and ask her/him to communicate it to
other, it should be done asap

Sleepy [2:15 PM]:
i hope u urealise that the communciation has not made us lose time

LMMI [2:15 PM]:
i only resort to trusting, when i myself am running real short of time

LMMI [2:16 PM]:
Sleepy, the issue is not whether or not this time we lost something. but
the error is there

LMMI [2:16 PM]:
and i want you to take up that responsibility. rather than shirking it
off

LMMI [2:16 PM]:
unless we realise our errors and own them, we cant improvise.

Sleepy [2:16 PM]:
i am not shirking it off ..

LMMI [2:16 PM]:
the point is no such comm gap will be acceptable going forward

LMMI [2:17 PM]:
and yes, MS has lost time. coz had she been informed on time, she
cud have devoted time to it

LMMI [2:17 PM]:
now the meeting happens soon

Sleepy [2:17 PM]:
she has other things to do also

Sleepy [2:17 PM]:
she s completing taht and then she was going to spend time on the
template

LMMI [2:17 PM]:
like what?

LMMI [2:17 PM]:
Sleepy

LMMI [2:17 PM]:
tell me

Sleepy [2:17 PM]:
its not like she put time on the templatte ..

LMMI [2:18 PM]:
she was thru with charts.

LMMI [2:18 PM]:
had she known she cud have devoted time to template

Sleepy [2:18 PM]:
the charts and then the comparison template

LMMI [2:18 PM]:
that critical time is lost

Sleepy [2:18 PM]:
so are you saying MS was sitting idle .. ?

LMMI [2:18 PM]:
Sleepy i am not losing more time over this.

Sleepy [2:18 PM]:
neither am i

LMMI [2:18 PM]:
there are imp things to be done

LMMI [2:18 PM]:
rather than arguing just ensure the comm gap doenst happen

LMMI [2:19 PM]:
it has happened in past also

LMMI [2:19 PM]:
thankyou both of you for your time now

LMMI [2:19 PM]:
go ahead and get going with ur work now!

LMMI [2:19 PM]:
all the best! and i want the best from u

LMMI [2:44 PM]:
Sleepy... its 2 hrs! i was expecting draft in 90min

LMMI [2:44 PM]:
when can u send it?

LMMI [2:45 PM]:
ok i got it

Sleepy [2:45 PM]:
jus go throug your mailbox before ..

LMMI [2:46 PM]:
before what Sleepy?

LMMI [2:47 PM]:
i dont see any need for being unnecessarily rude

Sleepy [2:47 PM]:
I am not being rude ... your first statement was not polite

LMMI [2:47 PM]:
yes you are being rude.

LMMI [2:48 PM]:
i've overlooked it in the past.

LMMI [2:48 PM]:
please ensure it doesnt repeat

*An early impression of the battle of bullshit by Gandalf

A thing about The Matrix.

Ok. Whatever happened to the body in the matrix, happened in the real world right? So if a man had to take a shit in the matrix would that mean he's crapping his pants in the real world. Hey Neo, you need diapers man.

The man who moved a mountain

This post is dedicated to Dasrath Manjhi, a poor logger from a village near Gaya, Bihar. After losing his wife to the treacherous mountain roads connecting his village to the world. Such was his loss and love for the woman, he decided to dig through the mountain. After a 31 year labour that started in 1959, the man finally won the mountain with his hammer, shovel and chisel.


Hats off to you sir.

Story and image attributed to 'The Pioneer' 18 August 2007

Ode To Friday

The sun is scorching
And the dust gets in my eye
My back hurts and my neck creaks
There are several emails in my inbox – unreplied

The work still sucks
The projects are still lame
The pressures are still high
And I still must take the blame

But I’ll still smile. I’d grin infact!
There isn’t much that can bring me down today
O yes I will smile and dance a merry jig
I will smile. For today’s a Friday!

-G

The haunted photo

This is my photo at a human history museum in Bhopal. Now I'm seriously creeped out. The thing is that the photo looks normal when opened normally. But if you set your folder options to thumbnails view, it changes to something rather scary. For those who have XP, the preview image in the 'Details' tab on the lower left is also the creepy one. Check it for yourself. Left click and open the picture and download it to your computer.

Passage to India

A prospective foreign intern recently sent this mail to her [future] colleagues working in my company. Rather amusing read it is.

"Unfortunately, the "undertaking for foreign nationals" is very difficult to interpret for me!

Point 1 of the document is not an undertaking. It is a statement. A statement of something that is obvious: no foreigner can work in India without an employment visa. Full stop.

Point 2 is also obvious: it follows from the conditions on which I am issued the visa. It is also obvious that I have to agree with Indian legal system including immigration-related regulations. Again, I there is nothing to undertake in this as it is not a question IF I agree and undertake or not... I am simply oblidged by law to leave India once I have no legal basis. I cannot convert my employment visa to a tourist visa. It is valid only for the purpose to which it was issued.

Point 3: Of course the company will not be liable for my actions once there will be no legal interconnection between the company and me. How could it be? It is an obvious fact and it is not a question of agreement, undertaking or contracting.

Point 4: Who will tell what is "material" and what is "immaterial"? How could I have caused the company and loss in the PAST??? How do you mean: "...losses suffered by the company both in the past and in the present..."? How about the future? In my understanding, any contract is a legally binding promise on things that will happen AFTER signing. I don't understand how I can undertake for something that has already happened in the past. Anyways: nothing wrong happened in the past. I was not in the position in the past to cause the company any loss.

Point 5: It is not a question IF I fulfill the conditions: I HAVE TO agree to them by Indian law and government regulations. Full stop. No "if" no "but". The "above mentioned conditions" that the document is saying are not "conditions" as they are not a question of agreement. They are either obvious facts or obligations that come from superior legal sources (government regulations). Again it is obvious that you can take legal actions against me if I break a civil contract. Any contracting party has the right to go to court...

In a nutshell, the only thing that I can see black-and-white is that I am financially responsible - "I agree to indemnify the company..." - everything else in this document is very difficult to interpret for me.

Please help me clarify the above mentioned matters!"

Poor sods. Lawyerspeak is indecipherable universally. Be it Americans, Germans or Vogons. Good luck Fraulein.