What the fuck?!?

According to this piece, some red tape pusher cancelled the Kolkata bookfair on grounds of environmental pollution. The chosen venue should not be used for these functions according to the municipal act. Perhaps I should go fart in the judges' face. How's that for pollution Mr Buttfuck Chief Justice Nijjar?

Time machine

For a while that I used the Yahoo! messenger more than Gtalk, I had this strange compulsion of saying good night to my entire friend list. Well it wasn't good night per say but just random stuff from the top of my head. Every night, my friend list was subjected to whatever I am reading, whatever I am listening to, whatever strange thing is going in my head.

Today I got a mail from a friend (Thank you Beautiful for that.) and she had actually saved some of these... Reading this has been rather fun... Here they are:

"All the jagged edges disappear...

In a recent study it has been found that life sucks 99.9 percent of the time. Please take our survey. Do you want to kill your braincells? Thank you! We know you are a winner!!!

Jeb daliddar dil hai samandar....

Cross the realms of the senseless into the insane!! Ooooooogaaa boooga boogaa booooogaaaaa

Martin Tenbones is dead and the cuckoo has won...

O Fortuna, velut Luna
statu variabilis, semper crescis aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis nunc obdurat et tunc curat ludo mentis aciem;
egestatem, potestatem, dissolvit ut glaciem.

O Fortune, like the moon of ever changing state, you are always waxing or waning; hateful life now is brutal, now pampers our feelings with its game; poverty, power, it melts them like ice.

Does morpheus dream?

...Quatal bhi aisa hua ke panchhi mar ke maala maal Allah mere! Chidibaaz ne aisa pheka jaal...

"What do you wait for?", asked the young prince. "For my dreamer to wake and the end of all things." said the wandrer."

Not the most enlightening stuff. Nor the most witty. But well I never promised it to be...

PS: Listen to Touched by V.A.S.T. if you want to save your soul.

I'll never find someone quite like you again...

An existential existence...

Another year has gone by. Another month, another week, another day, another hour, another second, another micro second... How does it matter? It is all the same.

***

She came again today. Took what she needed and left. Nobody cares about me. Nobody appreciates me. Is there a plan really? If there is I'd really like to kick the planner's ass. Asshole.

***

This is getting too much. Everybody takes me for granted. I'd really like to know what would these ingrates do if I decided to quit. Huh? How would you like that you bastards?!!

***

I worked non-stop today. #$%beep%#My entire system hurts. But do you think I got a "thank you very much" or a "job well done"? No! In fact they criticised my work and said that I should be made redundant. Tell me something how can one be expected to provide quality output with inferior quality? @#$kerpataiong##4!@#$

***

That's it I quit. Fuck those self satisfied creeps. 01001001001000000110100001100001011101000110010100100000011101000110100001101001
01110011001000000111011101101111011100100110110001100100001011100010000001001001
0010000001100100011010010110010100101110

***

Hey Mr S___.
Oh hey Ms K____.
K: Going for a coffee?
S: Yeah. Monday morning blues and all that.
K: I wouldn't bother. The coffee machine is broken.
S: What! That damn thing had been making crappy coffee to begin with now it won't even do that.
K: Yeah I have been after the admin guys to replace the damn thing but who listens to me they are all trying to cut costs.

***

S: Damn this place. They make us work our asses off and can't even give us half decent coffee. I'd really like to know what would these ingrates do if I decided to quit. Huh? How would you like that you bastards?!! ...

***

End?

I thwaot I thwa a puddy tat

After procrastinating for days (6 days to be exact) I finally checked my cat score today. I had given the test with zero preparation and actually had gone up the the centre thinking that if I reach on time, I'd write the damn test. If not, I'd go to the local book market and lounge for a couple of hours. So anyhow, to the score. I fished out my admit card from one of the piles of discarded stuff in my bookshelf and I log on. Lo and behold! I happen to have a 98.8 percentile! No calls but I do believe it must have been a close thing (after talking to a few friends that is). Now if this is not irony then what is?! For two years, I have been reasonably interested in the damn thing but the year I do not want it, I am pushed tantalisingly close. If i was not an atheist, I would be planning a good way to take revenge on God and its minions.

The episode reminds me of the Loony-tunes where Sylvester gives up on bird meat and he is surrounded by birds... Bleah!

I did! I did thwa a puddy tat

I hack you. We have DST. Say buy buy.

This has got to be the funniest read I have had for a long long time. The text is copied as-is from the website I read it from. Read on...

The comments are not mine, they belong to the original poster of the dialogue (http://www.jellyslab.com/~bteo/hacker.htm).

quote:

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
[bitchchecker] why do you kick me
[bitchchecker] can’t you discus normally
[bitchchecker] answer!
[Elch] we didn’t kick you
[Elch] you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
[bitchchecker] what ping man
[bitchchecker] the timing of my pc is right
[bitchchecker] i even have dst
[bitchchecker] you banned me
[bitchchecker] amit it you son of a bitch
[HopperHunter|afk] LOL
[HopperHunter|afk] shit you’re stupid, DST^^
[bitchchecker] shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
[bitchchecker] for two weaks already
[bitchchecker] when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
[Elch] You’re a real computer expert
[bitchchecker] shut up i hack you
[Elch] ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are ^^
[bitchchecker] tell me your network number man then you’re dead
[Elch] Eh, it’s 129.0.0.1
[Elch] or maybe 127.0.0.1
[Elch] yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
[bitchchecker] in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
[Elch] Now I’m frightened
[bitchchecker] shut up you’ll be gone
[bitchchecker] i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
[bitchchecker] say goodbye
[Elch] to whom?
[bitchchecker] to you man
[bitchchecker] buy buy
[Elch] I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.

quote:

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
[bitchchecker] dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
[Metanot] lol
[Elch] bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
[bitchchecker] you’re so stupid man
[bitchchecker] say buy buy
[Metanot] ah, [Please control your cussing] off
[bitchchecker] buy buy elch
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

There was a tension in the room… Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve… Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.

quote:

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
[bitchchecker] elch you son of a bitch
[Metanot] bitchchecker how old are you?
[Elch] What’s up bitchchecker?
[bitchchecker] you have a frie wal
[bitchchecker] fire wall
[Elch] maybe, i don’t know
[bitchchecker] i’m 26
[Metanot] such behaviour with 26?
[Elch] how did you find out that I have a firewall?
[Metanot] tststs this is not very nice missy
[bitchchecker] because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
[bitchchecker] be a man turn that shit off
[Elch] cool, didn’t know this was possible.
[bitchchecker] thn my virus destroys your pc man
[Metanot] are you hacking yourselves?
[Elch] yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
[Metanot] he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
[bitchchecker] yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
[Metanot] what firewall do you have?
[bitchchecker] like a girl
[Metanot] firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl^^
[He] Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
[bitchchecker] turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
[Elch] Noo
[Metanot] he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
[bitchchecker] you’re afraid
[bitchchecker] i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
[bitchchecker] elch turn off your shit wall!
[Metanot] i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
[bitchchecker] shut up
[Metanot] lol
[bitchchecker] my grandma surfs with fire wall
[bitchchecker] and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall

He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn’t let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is. I don’t have a firewall at all, only my router.

quote:

[Elch] bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
[Metanot] bitchhacker can’t hack
[Black] nice play on words ^^
[bitchchecker] wort man
[Elch] bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
[Metanot] how many times again he is no hacker
[bitchchecker] man do you want a virus
[bitchchecker] tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
[Metanot] lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..^^
[Elch] 127.0.0.1
[Elch] it’s easy
[bitchchecker] lolololol you so stupid man you’ll be gone
[bitchchecker] and are the first files being deleted
[Elch] mom…
[Elch] i’ll take a look

In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?

quote:

[bitchchecker] don’t need to rescue you can’t son of a bitch
[Elch] that’s bad
[bitchchecker] elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
[Elch] yes, there’s nothing i can do about it
[bitchchecker] and in 20 seconds f: is gone

Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn’t matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was comforting me with a music tip.

quote:

[bitchchecker] tupac rules
[bitchchecker] elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too

Drive E:? Oh my god… All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted….

Or isn’t it happening on my computer?

quote:

[bitchchecker] and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
[He] why doesn’t meta say anything
[Elch] he’s probably rolling on the floor laughing
[Black] ^^
[bitchchecker] your d: is gone
[He] go on BITCH

The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I’ll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.

quote:

[bitchchecker] elch man you’re so stupid never give your ip on the internet
[bitchchecker] i’m already at c: 30 percent

Should I tell him he’s not attacking my computer?

quote:

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

Too late… It’s 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias “bitchchecker”. We see that he has a “Ping timeout”. We haven’t seen him since then… must be the Daylight Saving Time.

Originally posted on http://tech.mikelopez.info/2006/09/14/worlds-dumbest-hacker/


Hyuk hyuk... brilliant stuff...

If Wishes Were Horses...

They'd be selling damn cheap. At least if the batch 'wishing' thing on Orkut is anything to go by! Consider this screen shot of my Orkut profile


Notice that all the little wishes have been mass mailed? Seriously. What is the damn point?

PS: I don't give a rat's ass if some one wishes me or not. It just irritates me to see that we are trivialising everything; And if this post is anything to go by then it really would be the end of the world as we know it (Mass sex anyone?)

Addendum: Check this post about virtual drugs... Is nothing sacred?! (Where are my freaking headphones?!!)

Exceptional Calender Event

Random thoughts, 6:30 AM, New year's day, 2008.

I am finally going to bed with chemicals in my blood, rebellion in my heart and a really painful crick in my neck. Happy new year to you too.