Exceptional Calender Event

Random thoughts, 6:30 AM, New year's day, 2008.

I am finally going to bed with chemicals in my blood, rebellion in my heart and a really painful crick in my neck. Happy new year to you too.

Memento Mori... Hurrah!

A few days back I was talking to a friend and for some vague reason, the talk turned to Death and dying. At which point, I said that I think that death is the best thing that can happen to anyone and so on and so forth. To which, the friend reacted with shock and quite a bit of reproach (and as the person was a she, the reproach was of the silent kind and really uncomfortable!). So it got me thinking. Why is Death vilified all over and life is the good person in general? If we were to put blame on something for our miseries, it is life! We did not ask to be born. Hell we did not even know what was born or even asking!! But we were dragged into existing, subjected to the rat race and then to die knowing full well that we have achieved nothing and sentenced another set of poor assholes to our fates.

I believe that Death is not bad for the person who is dying. But it is painted as a bad thing because we the living envy the dead. We rue the early exit.

Fuck life. Ave Mortis!!

Fear and Loathing In Gas Vegas

Today was one freaky day. I woke up feeling like shit today and sort of had a premonition that the rest of the day would be shit too. Well... it kinda was. Must be winters but was sleepy and annoyed the whole day. Anyhow, about the title story, I do not know if I have declared it here, but I recently got promoted and am now an official part of the 'lower' 'middle' 'management'... yes gentle reader, I too am this close to selling my soul. So after the promotion, I am supposed to deal increasingly with the client. Today was another such day and my premonition of shittiness was manifested in the last half hour of Monday.... Sample this conversation that happened via SMS while I was going back home...

Client is in Europe and is 6 hours behind us so 11:00 PM here is 5:00 PM there...

C: Gandalf, can you please give me a call...
Me: Hi Client, I have left for the day. Would it be alright if I follow up tomorrow? If urgent I will try to find alternate means to contact you...
C: That's alright. But you know the end of the world is here. One of your team members sent the research documents to the wrong set of people and basically you are fucked. But never mind we can talk tomorrow.
Me: (Oh my fucking god!!) As far as I know, we sent it to you, client#2 and an internal mailing list...
C: Oh... so do you always send the research docs to internal mailing lists...
Me: Yes Client, we always do.
C: Oh great then have a good day. Cheers...
Me: @#%!##

The end.

Blue Monday... Bah!

Funky shit

At work today, my good friend Raccoon, Sleepy and I were having a random chat to ease off the rotten pressure we are all under all of a sudden. Somehow during the course of the conversation, Raccoon suddenly commented that he cannot visualise the celebrities taking a shit. For which we immediately panned him and made gentle fun of him by hurling abuses on his sexual prowess and preferences. However, later I tried to imagine celebrities shitting and the funniest one I came up with was Buddha shitting. Why? Picture this...

"Many years ago, the wise sage Buddha was on a world tour and he reached this village famous for its rich food and carnal men. So Buddha though well I must enlighten the poor souls and take them towards equilibrium. Well the men welcomed him with open arms and open larders and piled delicacy after delicacy for him. Not to appear rude and aloof Buddha nibbled on some of the stuff and later preached spirituality. The village listened with rapt attention and later wend home a little more thoughtful than usual. (Right about now you must be asking where is the shit? Well I got news for you baby. Incoming!!)

Cut scene to next morning our Generic Villager (GV) is going for his morning walk...

Unknown Voice: Unghhhh!
GV: Eh? Wot?
UV: Unghhhhhhhhh!
GV: ???
UV: Gaaaah!!! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!
(GV heads towards the sound and is shocked!)
GV: Buddha!!
(Sees that Buddha is taking a painfully constipated shit)
GV: Like find your equilibrium dude. Be one with the world and shit...
Buddha: (waggles a strategic finger at GV and screams) Be one with this you son of a bitch! Guaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
(GV is overcome with emotions and the smell and covers his eyes and after a while when all is quiet with the world again, opens them with a beating heart...)
GV: Buddha...
Buddha: (is levitating) Peace my son
GV: Wow! How did you attain this state of Nirvana man? What did you smoke?
Buddha: Hush my silly child. One attains peace when a powerful truth dawns on him.
GV: Wow! what truth big B?
Buddha: Tell this to your fellow men - "Ask not why Shit happens. But know that Shit must happen. One can never know true peace unless Shit happens"
GV: Wow! ....
GV: (quietly) Seriously what were you smoking?

Fade out..."

Tada!!!

If you think this is a shitty story.. well then, it is!! Wahahahahahahaha!!!!

The best laid plans

The stage was set. A very close friend was coming from the US of A after a year and we were all excited. The close friend (let's call her CF from now on) calls up another friend (let's call him local friend or LF1) and tells him that she wants to surprise her parents and therefore she'll be coming a day earlier than what she had told them and can LF1 come and pick her up from the airport. So LF1 calls another friend LF2 and yours truly as well and we cook up a plan to give her a nice welcome. We go there with our guitars slung around our shoulders and discussing how sweet it would be for her parents to see their daughter turn up a day early! We were also making our own plans how to best surprise her and just then.. bang her dad shows up at the airport and we are all aww crap there goes the surprise. The end. Right?

Naah. It so happens that someone wanted to fuck us up. So the flight got delayed and we were stuck chit-chatting with her dad and being the concerned parent he is, he very nearly accused us of giving her mom a heart attack! Why? They were frantically trying to reach CF but could not obviously as she was on the plane and everyone was super worried and yada yada yada... We were pissed as we were standing there in the cold late at night with office tomorrow and getting pasted for something that was not our fault! And the worst part of it all was we could identify with the dad. If I was in his place I'd have kicked my ass and we could not find anyone to blame...

Therefore the best laid plans are generally worth shit. Life is random my friends no grand scheme. No plan. Phbbt...

PS: Surprises suck. Never do it. It's the damn movies that have made them so damn romantic. We are all comfortable with 'planning' stuff if something goes awary, we get irritated. Bah!

Of short tops and the constant tugging

Have you seen girls wearing a t-shirt type top (which may go under several names such as tank, halter, noodle, whatever)? Now every single girl I've seen (and not that I ogle) has this really really irritating tic of almost unconsciously tugging the top from the lower back, where it eventually ends up, to the waist. I asked a female friend about this and she said that it is generally to maintain modesty. So the thing is this. If they *think* the bare midriff/lower back may be immodest, why wear it and if they do not, then why tug. This my dear reader is another example of the degenerate hypocritical culture we have (and I do not mean the Indian culture but the global culture). Fucking humans. Useless pieces of carbon shit.

I am

Deeply unhappy. I am deeply disturbed. Life is so fucking random.