Micromanaged hell

I recieved a most fun mail from my manager a few days back. I couldn't stop laughing for a straight half hour. Being a nice and cheery person I am, I'd like to share this power packed dose of hilarity with you, dear gentle reader.

"Hi Team,

Off-late, I have observed that many of you chat with your friends through IM and desk phone.

Please note that these facilities have been provided ONLY for official use and their usage for personal purposes should be minimized.

In addition, also try to minimize the time spend in taking personal calls on mobile phones.

If any of you have any issues, please feel free to talk to me.

Thanks and regards,
XXX"

I think we'll soon get a mail telling us how not to use the washrooms or the cafeterias or breathe....

"Hi Team,

I have observed that you breathe entirely too much. From now on you are only allowed to gasp and hold your breath. You are allowed only 6 breaths every minute.

If you feel faint or can see a light guiding you to dead relatives, feel free to contact me.

Thanks and best regards,
But-Hed (Manager)"

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