Middleman

I'm back from a long day at work and a friend and I were having a strage introspective conversation for some reason. I whined about my favorite whine - there is no purpose (spoon?). To which my friend responded thus: "Well you know your life has always been the life of a middeling path, you were successful, but never the best and at the same time never the worst, therefore you have never experienced either extreme to define the very meaning of euphoria". This surprising (at least to me) insight into my life was well... surprising... Fuck! I gotta shave my head and wreck a history museum. I am the all singing... yada yada yada...

Break the code... Not really

The new Sony Vaio Z commercial being aired here struck me as rather ironic. The ad shows a man working on an ultra small laptop and forced to use a magnifying glass to use it. Then comes a girl with a huge laptop she's having difficulty carrying. The shot pans out and we see all the actors being turned into ceramic dolls denoting the sameness of all the laptops (all of these have something that's inconvenient). Now in walks the Sony Vaio guy. He's super cool, he's wearing hep clothes and is walking as all cool people do. And bam all the bad laptops turn into Sony Vaio Z's and the people come back to life.

Now comes the ironic part, throughout the ad the following song is being played:

I'm not you and you're not me,

But I look around and all I see is me, (ceramic transformation done)

Change the code, break the code,

Take the new road (Sony Vaio saves the day!)

Followed by the new Sony tagline - Like no other...

How are people breaking codes if they use the same laptops?

Phbbt!

Out of the bluh

Scientific ideas come from broken homes. They have either fathers* or mothers. Very few have mommies and daddies. That's why they end up making such a mess of things**.

*Case in point, Alan Turing is the father of modern computing. Where's the mother, bitches?

**Further case in point, as of right now, millions of 'modern computers' are hooked on to a hive brain that will drain all our individuality and we will be reduced to pointless husks looking for a punchline. This was my attempt.

A cynic

Need not know anything but gets to criticize everything. Kickass.

Splat!

I hate birthdays. They just make you realize that one more year has gone by and life hasn't changed much and won't change much either. I choose not to choose life.

My own Guy Montag

Stop! You are advised to continue if you have read Farenheit 451. If you haven't, then run to your nearest bookstore (as soon as it opens), buy the book, read the book and come back. Go on then chop chop.

Now, it seems that I've found my personal Guy and it is called Wikipedia. In fact the damn site is super Guy. Guy just burnt books. The site is burning books, movies and video games for me. Why you ask? You see, I am a working man now. Due to which, my reading/ watching and gaming time has been drastically cut down. I manage a few chapters where I read the whole day, I have to plan to watch a movie, I get only a few hours of gaming time per day... Now Wikipedia is one of the few entertaining sites permissible at work. So I end up reading the 'plot summaries' fo everything. After that, the book/movie/game just isn't fun anymore.

Woe is me. Damn you Wikipedia!

Rokking

Was watching the TV after a long time and thanks to the shitty satellite signal I was stuck with MTV. There to my utter horror I saw five new filmy songs with distorted guitars on peppy Punjabbi beats (With a gyrating Saif Ali Khan and swooning Rani Mukharji to boot).

Now I think I have ranted somewhere about the fear of Black T-shirts. Imagine an India where braindead idiots not only wear Black T-shirts with Metchul Band names on them but also with Himesh, Pritam and Annu Mallick Black T-shirts... Exactly!

To convey a measure of my horror, I leave you with this image.

Kill-ing 2008

I have several 'productivity enhancement applications' installed at work. Including E-mail.

I get several forwards during the week and they may range from inane stunts recorded on video, guilt trip mails, wrath of god mails and plain bullshit. But I recieved a mail that truly and beautifully captured an issue that has been pissing me off for a long time. This is that mail:







Pictures do speak louder than words...

Amnesty has recorded 470 confirmed death penalties in China in 2007

China does not officially disclose the number of capital punishment cases

Citius (ferinus), Altius (barbarus), Fortius(dementis)?

Spiral

I am dying to sell to those who are dying to buy. The world, my friend, is basically fucked.

I am

OK this started out rather tame. I just noticed a 'pose a question to your friends' tab on Orkut. Feeling rather random I thought I should pose a question. The good people at orkut went through so much trouble developing that API, atleast someone should use it! Anyhow, so I started typing a question and got stuck on 'Are you...'.

Being an almost a habitual google abuser, I thought I should see what sort of 'are yous...' are available on the clickhickers guide to the Internet.

What I found instead, was a bunch of 'personality tests'. So fascinating! There are these tests for everything... they even tell you what sort of a Nigerian Spammer are you.

I got to know that I am...

Which File Extension are You?

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I am Jetpac Man.


I love the outdoors; the sense of freedom, of adventure. I love the sensation of free-fall, and would parachute and bungee jump on a moment's notice. I know where I want to be, and I strive to get there, making great effort to collect what I need. I let nothing stand in my way. What Video Game Character Are You?


Which Nigerian spammer are You?


Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

Feeling wise I am yah stupid gadge!

Seek and ye shall find... And sometimes, you dont have to do even that!

Things have a funny way of turning themselves out. I have often found myself in situation that something takes my fancy - for instance a book, a song, a type of music... anything and suddenly I start seeing things like that all around or without really trying to.

A few weeks back I listened to this band called Iron and Wine at Bobby's suggestion and was hooked. It has a warm, beautiful sound. Can't really find any other adjective for it. Listen to it and you'll understand what am I talking about. Anyway, I was recently taking a music quiz and found this guy called Sufjan Stevens and it is nearly as warm and as beautiful as Iron and Wine. I use nearly not to suggest that it is lacking. But it is slightly different.
Guess if a new age guru heard this, he'd say shit like "While You Chase Destiny In The Grains of Sand, All The Trees of The Field Will Clap Their Hands"

Deathwish

Was watching Troy today. Saw a bunch of people killing another bunch of people for silly reasons. Not Hector or Agememnon or even Achilles. But the bloody foot soldiers. Seriously. What would they get in the end. Another war or death. So we really haven't progressed much. Just found more efficient ways and smaller causes to kill ourselves.

Phew!

It's been a long time since I posted. But I have been so very busy for the past few days. I can't believe it myself!

Anyway, this post is for the sake of posting. You know, to keep the old gears in motion. So I shall start with a good bit of ranting and end with a pointless observation. Ready? Go!

~

Don't know if you read the papers for yesterday but it scared me and angered me to see an article about a road-rage related molestation case. What happened was this:
Boy and girl going on a bike at 2:30AM
Big car full of assholes tries to overtake them
For some reason they get into a fight over this
The big car speeds, overtakes and finally blocks the bike
Big bulky men come out of the car
They beat the living daylights out of the boy
Drag the girl into the car and roam around with her for half an hour beating her too
The men escape as no ID was done

I sincerely hope the bastards get testicle cancer and die a slow painful death. It is when things like these happen I am ashamed of being a Delhiite, an Indian and a man. Seriously. May the sick fucks rot in hell.

~

Yesterday I received three April fool's jokes. All three had to do with Deepika Padukone. What goes?

The Half-Second Limbo

Picture yourself walking and you see a half familiar person coming. You do not know the person. Well you have only made polite situational conversation. There is eye contact but the person is too far away to say hi immediately without sounding too loud and waving would look silly. Blam! you find yourself wondering... Should I say hi when he/she comes close enough? Should I just smile? Maybe I should just walk on. But that might be considered rude... That is the half-second limbo.

I do not know if you have ever found yourself in this position or not. But I run into these very often. Especially if the interaction is with the opposite sex as there is the additional fear of coming off as a letch or someone trying to get fresh.

To better illustrate what I am saying, this would be a half-second limbo that resolved itself watch out for the scene near about 1:20.

This Is Bliss

"The lizard wakes up and finds he's the last lizard alive. His family and friends are all gone. Those he didn't like, those who picked on him in school, are also gone. The lizard is all alone. He misses his family and friends. Even his enemies. It's better being with your enemies than being alone. That's what he thought. Staring at the sunset, he thinks. "What is the point in living... If I don't have anyone to talk to?" But even that thought doesn't mean anything... when you're the last lizard."

Picture, quote from: Last Life In The Universe. Not mine. Don't sue me.

Homosapien HighonElectronix Totalis!

On the other hand gizmos are what I love! Just bought an 8800GT 512 MB graphics card. Now I am playing Bioshock at 1280x1024, Everything notched up to super high and loving every minute of it. Mwahahahaha!

Hoposapien Useless Totalis

I am a failed human being, nay mammal. No this is not a self loathing trip. I do feel fine about myself. Truly. The reason I say that I am a failed human being/mammal is because I am not able to appreciate the basic reason for our being. Reproduction. Please note that I do not mind the way (wink wink) but it is the end result that revolts me.

I hate babies. Seriously. My brother has recently had a kid and it scares the shit out of me. Just looking at you with those creepy eyes and everyone is talking silly.

Bah! I hate children. Stupid things.

Time machine

For a while that I used the Yahoo! messenger more than Gtalk, I had this strange compulsion of saying good night to my entire friend list. Well it wasn't good night per say but just random stuff from the top of my head. Every night, my friend list was subjected to whatever I am reading, whatever I am listening to, whatever strange thing is going in my head.

Today I got a mail from a friend (Thank you Beautiful for that.) and she had actually saved some of these... Reading this has been rather fun... Here they are:

"All the jagged edges disappear...

In a recent study it has been found that life sucks 99.9 percent of the time. Please take our survey. Do you want to kill your braincells? Thank you! We know you are a winner!!!

Jeb daliddar dil hai samandar....

Cross the realms of the senseless into the insane!! Ooooooogaaa boooga boogaa booooogaaaaa

Martin Tenbones is dead and the cuckoo has won...

O Fortuna, velut Luna
statu variabilis, semper crescis aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis nunc obdurat et tunc curat ludo mentis aciem;
egestatem, potestatem, dissolvit ut glaciem.

O Fortune, like the moon of ever changing state, you are always waxing or waning; hateful life now is brutal, now pampers our feelings with its game; poverty, power, it melts them like ice.

Does morpheus dream?

...Quatal bhi aisa hua ke panchhi mar ke maala maal Allah mere! Chidibaaz ne aisa pheka jaal...

"What do you wait for?", asked the young prince. "For my dreamer to wake and the end of all things." said the wandrer."

Not the most enlightening stuff. Nor the most witty. But well I never promised it to be...

PS: Listen to Touched by V.A.S.T. if you want to save your soul.

I'll never find someone quite like you again...

An existential existence...

Another year has gone by. Another month, another week, another day, another hour, another second, another micro second... How does it matter? It is all the same.

***

She came again today. Took what she needed and left. Nobody cares about me. Nobody appreciates me. Is there a plan really? If there is I'd really like to kick the planner's ass. Asshole.

***

This is getting too much. Everybody takes me for granted. I'd really like to know what would these ingrates do if I decided to quit. Huh? How would you like that you bastards?!!

***

I worked non-stop today. #$%beep%#My entire system hurts. But do you think I got a "thank you very much" or a "job well done"? No! In fact they criticised my work and said that I should be made redundant. Tell me something how can one be expected to provide quality output with inferior quality? @#$kerpataiong##4!@#$

***

That's it I quit. Fuck those self satisfied creeps. 01001001001000000110100001100001011101000110010100100000011101000110100001101001
01110011001000000111011101101111011100100110110001100100001011100010000001001001
0010000001100100011010010110010100101110

***

Hey Mr S___.
Oh hey Ms K____.
K: Going for a coffee?
S: Yeah. Monday morning blues and all that.
K: I wouldn't bother. The coffee machine is broken.
S: What! That damn thing had been making crappy coffee to begin with now it won't even do that.
K: Yeah I have been after the admin guys to replace the damn thing but who listens to me they are all trying to cut costs.

***

S: Damn this place. They make us work our asses off and can't even give us half decent coffee. I'd really like to know what would these ingrates do if I decided to quit. Huh? How would you like that you bastards?!! ...

***

End?

I thwaot I thwa a puddy tat

After procrastinating for days (6 days to be exact) I finally checked my cat score today. I had given the test with zero preparation and actually had gone up the the centre thinking that if I reach on time, I'd write the damn test. If not, I'd go to the local book market and lounge for a couple of hours. So anyhow, to the score. I fished out my admit card from one of the piles of discarded stuff in my bookshelf and I log on. Lo and behold! I happen to have a 98.8 percentile! No calls but I do believe it must have been a close thing (after talking to a few friends that is). Now if this is not irony then what is?! For two years, I have been reasonably interested in the damn thing but the year I do not want it, I am pushed tantalisingly close. If i was not an atheist, I would be planning a good way to take revenge on God and its minions.

The episode reminds me of the Loony-tunes where Sylvester gives up on bird meat and he is surrounded by birds... Bleah!

I did! I did thwa a puddy tat