Funky shit

At work today, my good friend Raccoon, Sleepy and I were having a random chat to ease off the rotten pressure we are all under all of a sudden. Somehow during the course of the conversation, Raccoon suddenly commented that he cannot visualise the celebrities taking a shit. For which we immediately panned him and made gentle fun of him by hurling abuses on his sexual prowess and preferences. However, later I tried to imagine celebrities shitting and the funniest one I came up with was Buddha shitting. Why? Picture this...

"Many years ago, the wise sage Buddha was on a world tour and he reached this village famous for its rich food and carnal men. So Buddha though well I must enlighten the poor souls and take them towards equilibrium. Well the men welcomed him with open arms and open larders and piled delicacy after delicacy for him. Not to appear rude and aloof Buddha nibbled on some of the stuff and later preached spirituality. The village listened with rapt attention and later wend home a little more thoughtful than usual. (Right about now you must be asking where is the shit? Well I got news for you baby. Incoming!!)

Cut scene to next morning our Generic Villager (GV) is going for his morning walk...

Unknown Voice: Unghhhh!
GV: Eh? Wot?
UV: Unghhhhhhhhh!
GV: ???
UV: Gaaaah!!! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!
(GV heads towards the sound and is shocked!)
GV: Buddha!!
(Sees that Buddha is taking a painfully constipated shit)
GV: Like find your equilibrium dude. Be one with the world and shit...
Buddha: (waggles a strategic finger at GV and screams) Be one with this you son of a bitch! Guaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
(GV is overcome with emotions and the smell and covers his eyes and after a while when all is quiet with the world again, opens them with a beating heart...)
GV: Buddha...
Buddha: (is levitating) Peace my son
GV: Wow! How did you attain this state of Nirvana man? What did you smoke?
Buddha: Hush my silly child. One attains peace when a powerful truth dawns on him.
GV: Wow! what truth big B?
Buddha: Tell this to your fellow men - "Ask not why Shit happens. But know that Shit must happen. One can never know true peace unless Shit happens"
GV: Wow! ....
GV: (quietly) Seriously what were you smoking?

Fade out..."

Tada!!!

If you think this is a shitty story.. well then, it is!! Wahahahahahahaha!!!!