Mailbox Management

Today a colleague of mine (let's call him Sleepy) was charged to drop an email to the entire 'team' to optimise our electronic communication tool in order to attain synergies so that we can deliver better value add to the client and empower ourselves. During the course of drafting the mail, he asked me to add my two cents - no fuck it I am an Indian - my two rupees to the beautiful parody he had come up with. Together we came up with this baby:

"Hi Team,

As per my discussion with XXX, we need to maintain an organised mail box.

Since our communication is pre-dominantly done via e-mail, it is extremely necessary to be able to track emails related to projects, without expending time and avoiding the search tool.

We are the managers of our own outbox so it is obviously customised to our own convenience. However, here are some pointers which might prove helpful:

• There is no limit in the number of folders one can create. Make the most of this and store all mails related to a project in one created folder. Use this option intelligently, be judicious and innovative.
• Store the ‘Sent Items’ in the folder of the related project. We generally tend to overlook our sent mail.
• Client mails are extremely important. Do not delete any client mail, however irrelevant or trivial it may seem.
• Block unnecessary mails. Eg: If you do not use the cab service, you can block the daily mails from XXX Transport.

Hope you find this useful.

I can come and test your mailbox management anytime, so stay prepared for an impromptu visit from me.

Feel free to make suggestions to improve our mailbox management.

Remember – Do it “RIGHT FIRST TIME” and “GET THINGS DONE”. Thanks and regards, Sleepy"
Most of the perversions are Sleepy's brainchildren. I merely spiced things up just a tiny little bit. Muhuhuhuhaahaahaaaa